2017 Mid-Off-Season Address
Introduction Hello Boys...I’m baaaaack. (little throwback Thursday ‘16 season gif for you) The Draft Competition tried to push the off-season competition into oblivion but I will not allow it! I admit, my last post was very wordy and confusing and scared a lot of the managers named Zach away from reading. I am going to keep this one short and to the point. Lots of important info enclosed (see section titled “The Important Section” for more). Draft Competition... ...Did not go great. Good news is we know what works and doesn’t work for next season re:off-season competitions. Bad news is, this didn’t work. All good! (See, I can keep sections brief). Draft Competition Scores Remarkably, Shotti ended up with exactly zero points. Boy, he can’t seem to catch a break in this league, huh? Jared, meanwhile, obviously had the best strategy as he outscored the 2nd best team by 750 points (his margin of victory over 2nd place is more than any of the other 8 teams scored). I have no doubt his accumulation of points has all to do with his Jewish heritage. Great job by Pat to stay average. We wouldn’t want him doing too good or too bad at anything. Stay the course. .500 ball is the name of the game for P9. I am impressed with my 810 points. Of course, the whole reason for the off-season competition is that I pay for the winner’s dues, so if I win my reward is I just that I get to pay my own dues. Updated Off-Season Standings # Jared - 1806 # Commish - 958 # Papa - 866 # Nate - 814 # Chantel - 504 # Zach - 495 # Chris - 234 # Shotti - 183 # Pat - 223 # Burns - (394)...yes, this is a negative 394 Close race, with only 2200 points separating first and last place. Burns seems to be out, but with another juggernaut like Rainbow Sprinkle in the upcoming tournament he might make the comeback of the year (just kidding Patriots still own that title sorry Patrick (but not really sorry because you were acting like a dick)). ZACH, don’t ex out! It’s going to be fine. I know those were long sections. Stick with us. You will not be harmed! The next section is the most important. Here is a gif of boobs to keep you interested. THE IMPORTANT SECTION John Cena is sponsored by Crocs. Before we go any further, I wanted everyone to understand this is the world we live in. More importantly, why does the internet think I need to see croc ads? Do I look like a croc guy? Wait...do I look like a John Cena guy? Moving on... In case you did not know, the league has been renewed and you can access at any time. Please let me know if you are having trouble accessing. Test it out soon just to be sure. You may be wondering why I am doing all of this so early. I will be out of the country for most of August leading up to the draft, so I am trying to stay ahead of things. Some dates below might seem early, too, but I want to be sure if there are any issues I’m around to address them. IMPORTANT DATES: * 6/6 Tourney Name submissions due (more on that below) * 6/13 Tournament Bracket Revealed (1st round voting begins) * 6/15 Zach’s Birthday * 6/20 Sweet Sixteen Revealed (2nd round voting begins) * 6/20 Chris's Birthday * 6/27 Elite Eight Revealed (3rd round voting begins) * 7/4 Final Four Revealed (4th round voting begins) * 7/11 Last Two Revealed (5th round voting begins) * 7/18 Championship Game Name/Off-Season Winners Announced * 8/6 Dues Payment Deadline (Pay your dues ASAP. The off-season winner will get their dues reimbursed by me personally. There isn’t a way to exempt someone from paying in the Yahoo system). * 8/9 Schedule/Draft Order Release Write-up * 8/23 Keeper Deadline (after this date if you have not submitted keepers to me you don’t get keepers) * 8/27 LoC Draft - 8pm ET (That’s 8pm Rhode Island time, not 8pm California time, remember some of you® yahoos are set to Pacific). * 9/3 Week 1 Power Rankings Write-up * 9/7 Week 1 Kickoff ''2017 Championship Game Naming Tournament I was going to wait until next season to do this, but why wait? The time has come to name the Championship Game. I’m sick of calling it the LoC Championship Game. The NFL has the Super Bowl and the Lombardi Trophy. We have the Eternal Cup of Glory and the….and the what? Rules They are the same as the Trophy Tourney, but I'll reiterate. I know you guys like a bit of lawyer talk in your write-ups. *Each team manager will submit two names to the Commish, setting up a 20-team bracket. *Submit names by Tuesday 6/6. *All Submissions are anonymous. *You cannot submit your name or your team name as an option. *The commish cannot vote or veto a name once the bracket is set. *Bracket will be set randomly and no one will have both their submissions face off unless they make the final two. Points * Win First Round - 100 * Win Sweet Sixteen - 300 * Win Elite Eight - 500 * Win Final Four - 800 * Win Championship Game - 1000 Little bit of inflation going on here when compared to our first competition but this is just the sign of the times. We saw a lot of growth during the draft and we need to compensate. If both of your teams come out of the First Round and make it to the Championship Game Name Championship Game you could go home with 4,400 points, more than enough to make up ground on momma. In Conclusion We are more than half-way through the off-season. We are closer to opening day than we are to Super Bowl 51. It is never too early to start draft analyzing, strategizing, trash talking, or fantasizing about championship glory. We will have another fun filled, action-packed fantasy season this year and it all starts right now with the Championship Game Naming Tournament. Get your names to me ASAP and lets get this thing started.